Dear Abby: Overworked caregiver has hit the wall
Dear Abby I have read your column for years Now I have an issue I have been taking care of my wife s uncle for the last two years He had a stroke and I became a certified nursing assistant I stay home and take care of him My wife does not help Not long ago her sister decided to return to college to finish her RN and moved in with us She does not help at all I decided to go back to school to get my master s I work hours a week and also work on my master s in cybersecurity I recounted my wife that if her sister doesn t move out by the end of the year I am moving out We are putting her uncle back in a nursing home I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE In the last two years I have had only four days off When I had the flu no laundry was done Am I a bad person for wanting a career Am I a bad person for wanting a house with just my wife and me Exhausted in the East Dear Exhausted It was loving and generous of you to enroll in classes to become a CNA so you could give your wife s uncle the care he needed That she did nothing to lighten your burden and then invited her sister to move in without first clearing it with you was wrong Marriage is supposed to be a partnership and it appears you have been doing all the heavy lifting You are not a bad person for wanting a career and the financial benefits it will bring and you should not be made to feel guilty for it Dear Abby Two years ago a close friend of my husband s and mine appealed us to be the best couple in their wedding After being postponed for a year due to various family issues the wedding is coming up soon My husband and I have been married years We have a strong faithful bond Last weekend we were informed that we won t be paired together Neither of us is happy with this news We feel that our friends are not respectful of our relationship I m baffled about why the best couple wouldn t be paired together I m so upset that I have cried for days I feel disrespected betrayed and unvalued I don t want us to be paired with other partners I communicated our friends I m not relaxed with my husband walking with another woman and me walking with another man but I was ignored I no longer want to even go to the wedding Am I being unreasonable Committed But Unhappy Dear Committed Please dry your tears You may have blown this out of proportion For the last quarter of a century you and your husband have been known to be a solid couple I don t know why the bride and groom are asking you to walk down the aisle separately It could be something as simple as pairing attendants who are similar heights Participate in the wedding and endorsement your friends It is only for one day and I assume you will be seated with your husband after the ceremony Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
