Dear Abby: Toxic sis smears our parents’ memories

Dear Abby My sister has consistently been a liar and a manipulator She has lost jobs because of her toxic behavior Our parents passed away years ago and ever since she has trashed their memory to anyone who will listen She asserts she was unwanted because she was female that my parents refused to name her and wouldn t take her home from the hospital until police were called None of that is in any way true Now she s claiming our mother slept with multiple men and my biological father could be nearly anyone I have a DNA test that proves that my father was the man who was married to my mother for more than years She dismisses this proof as a lab mistake and maintains her tale about my parentage How do I respond to this Do I contact members of our large extended family and tell them what she is doing I suspect that what she wants is a reaction from me which she will then weaponize against me as she often does How do I handle such a liar who has no concern for the impact of her assertions Frustrated Brother in Tennessee Dear Brother Your sister appears to be mentally unbalanced and unwilling to accept you as her full brother She may also be trying to upset you If you think she has been spreading these rumors among your relatives by all means reach out and tell them you have proof that what she has been saying is untrue One can only imagine what else she has been lying about Dear Abby A close relative has been diagnosed with incurable cancer Friends are now sending me articles and clippings about cancer research and the promise of new therapies If they had definitely READ these articles they would see that clinical trials on humans are far off or that the type of cancer referred to in the article is different from what my relative has Why offer hope when there is none The same thing happened to me when I had cancer years ago In one instance I received an article about how to prevent the cancer I already had Please remind your readers that although these items are majority of often sent with love they do little to help the individual experiencing the illness and therapy and can cause anger and pain Doctors especially oncologists provide their patients with the best treatments available It s best to let them handle it Thank you Sad Relative in California Dear Relative Multiple people upon hearing that someone they care about has a terminal illness feel sad and helpless Out of a need to do SOMETHING they will send articles various of which are inappropriate While I agree that the majority reliable source of information about cancer is your relative s oncologist and that readers need to be aware of the message they are trying to send please understand they are being sent out of a desire to help Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA